One of the crime scenes

Monday, November 05, 2012

Our Common
Mother(effing) Country

Ye Olde Empire and then some...

Just for a break from the wall to wall election coverage from the failing nation to our south, which may or may not be over tomorrow night, because we could have another 2000 type result requiring herds of lawyers and weeks to litigate I decided to seek out some articles about something, anything else, which led me to pose the following question to my faithful readers. What do Andorra, Belarus, Bolivia, Burundi, Central African Republic, Chad, Republic of Congo, Guatemala, Ivory Coast, Kyrgyzstan, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Mali, Marshall Islands, Monaco, Mongolia, Paraguay, Sao Tome and Principe, Sweden, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, and the Vatican City have in common? 

Out of kindness and a desire to not waste screen real estate, I won't make you scroll down and will answer right here and right now. Out of the almost two hundred "countries" recognized in the world today, they are the  only twenty-two that were never invaded (at times under another name) by the common Mother Country of we Canadians and our American cousins. This is the conclusion found in a recent book by Stuart Laycock, who has previously written about the (admittedly amateur by comparison) Roman Empire with the title  All the Countries We've Ever Invaded: And the Few We Never Got Round To. Apparently Mr. Laycock isn't one to stand on grammatical fussy points like not ending a sentence or a title with a preposition. 

The book was the result of a question from the author's eleven year old son, according to an article in the Daily Telegraph:
Mr Laycock, who has previously published books on Roman history, began the unusual quest after being asked by his 11-year-old son, Frederick, how many countries the British had invaded.
After almost two years of research he said he was shocked by the answer. "I was absolutely staggered when I reached the total. I like to think I have a relatively good general knowledge. But there are places where it hadn't occurred to me that these things had ever happened. It shocked me.
"Other countries could write similar books – but they would be much shorter. I don't think anyone could match this, although the Americans had a later start and have been working hard on it in the twentieth century."
The only other nation which has achieved anything approaching the British total, Mr Laycock said, is France – which also holds the unfortunate record for having endured the most British invasions.
"I realise people may argue with some of my reasons, but it is intended to prompt debate," he added.
He believes the actual figure may well be higher and is inviting the public to get in touch to provide evidence of other invasions.
In the case of Mongolia, for instance – one of the 22 nations "not invaded", according to the book – he believes it possible that there could have been a British invasion, but could find no direct proof.
The country was caught up in the turmoil following the Russian Revolution, in which the British and other powers intervened. Mr Laycock found evidence of a British military mission in Russia approximately 50 miles from the Mongolian border, but could not establish whether it got any closer.
The research lists countries based on their current national boundaries and names. Many of the invasions took place when these did not apply.
The United States, though much younger is certainly making an effort to catch up with Momma England. The list includes countries which were merely raided by British Pirates with approval of the government, which explains many of the far flung New World former Spanish colonies where pirates routinely attacked the Spanish settlements and made off with the plundered gold. The way the CIA operates secretly around the planet, maybe the U.S. has already broken the record, but we just don't know yet.

Maybe if Mitt the "business man" becomes Commander in Chief/CEO he'll just blow up the whole world at once, thus breaking Britain's record, but few folks will be around to appreciate the accomplishment.

This was also re-published at  Information Clearing House, which is worth dropping by just to be dumbstruck by some of the dorky comments there like this classic exchange between Franky and None:
Franky's avatar Franky ·16 hours ago
A lot of you foreigners loath the Brits but choose to live in the best country in the world and suck it dry of cash taking benefit payments, you scrounge off it and still you don’t work or integrate.

None's avatar
None · 15 hours ago
Why do they hate the Brits? Oh, it must be for their "freedoms".

The Brits have been sucking the world dry and scrounging off it for over two centuries, and have not stopped, slaughtering populations and plundering countries. Look at what you have been doing in Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya and Syria in the last decade alone. You have the audacity to talk about others "suck it dry"? I wouldn't live in that stinking genocidal country at any price. I hope everyone will "suck it dry" until it no longer exists. Same applies to USA, its lapdogs, and all colonizers and imperialists.

"The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them." --- George Orwell


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Canada has become a rotten, putrid corrupt country. Canadians are no longer proud to be Canadians. This country is no longer our Canada.

Canada is being sold out to Communist China. Harper has given all the jobs to China. All company's are permitted to hire cheap labor. China is building the Enbridge pipeline. China will own the pipeline. Harper is very kindly going to maintain the pipeline, in case the pipes burst, which they will. China refines the oil very cheaply, and will make a hefty profit, off Harper's stupidity.

Just you wait until Red China, sucks Canada dry. England doesn't own this country, Communist China does.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012 at 1:45:00 PM PST  
Blogger kootcoot said...

"Just you wait until Red China, sucks Canada dry. England doesn't own this country, Communist China does."

While I don't disagree or take issue with what you said above, I fail to see how it is relevant to my post, which was mostly, though not entirely, posted for comedic relief and a few moments attention to something other than the election today in the failing nation to the south.

The United States was originally thirteen British Colonies until they decided to revolt against King George and declare themselves a sovereign nation. Canada was essentially a British colony much longer, and still considers the sitting English Queen the head of state. Therefore it is conventional to consider the United Kingdom as the Common Mother Country to two of the three countries now located in North America - Mexico having been a Spanish colony instead, of course.

So if you read and understood the post, it wasn't about who owned what, but about what country had invaded the most countries during its history, which turns out to be Merry Olde England, followed by France, with the United States of Empire rapidly attempting to set a new standard and not fail to invade one out of every ten countries that now exist. Perhaps the US could try for all of the 22 left out by Britain excepting the Vatican, since the Vice President will be Catholic no matter who wins today's election and Catholics are probably more against attacking the Pope than birth control. Although I guess they could make a case for acting in the interests of the victims of child molestation and install an American Pope.

Ironically an ancient country that hasn't invaded anybody for centuries used to be called Persia, or Iran as it is known today. The young upstart theocracy of Israel, not so much. Sharing a border with them is an invitation to annexation or occupation.

There is certainly a lot of cool booty stored at the Vatican, old books, precious art and jewels. Indeed maybe an invasion of the Vatican could pay for itself and some of the deficit if they protect the valubles better than they did the antiquities in Baghdad - and the Vatican has no oil to distract from the art work and antiquities.

The number of countries currently hosting US military personnel is pretty impressive and that just includes the ones where the US actually admits to being involved. If wikileaks can release all info on CIA activity, maybe the US has already set a new standard.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012 at 3:21:00 PM PST  

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