One of the crime scenes

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Extra! Extra!
St. Stephen Harper
Appoints Himself

PM for Life!

Parliament LOCKED OUT

Since Steverino wasn't able to get his attack on workers' rights to negotiate and/or strike past Parliament, he has now attacked Parliament itself and engaged in an, if not illegal, certainly distasteful, Lock Out. He obviously assumes he has the right to devise policy and spend public funds when he so obviously doesn't have the support of two thirds of the ELECTED members of Parliament! I guess the Divine Right of Monarchs isn't some quaint notion from ancient history after all.

Contempt of Parliament

It took St. Stephen all summer to engineer a way to avoid the Fall Sitting of Parliament - by calling an useless, issue free election, violating his own Yankee style fixed date. To compound this sin he then conducted a "stealth" campaign by gagging almost all of his candidates and disguising himself with a sweater vest. Then it only took him six or seven weeks to kick the can into next year by essentially "pulling the fire alarm to avoid an exam," by convincing the GG to allow him to express his comtempt of Parliament by prorogue. By January 27 who's to say that the Legislature Buildings themselves won't be in private hands, having been one of the government assets that Jim Flaherty suggested would perhaps be sold to help weather the economic storm. So what is the likely immediate strategy of Stephen and his band of jolly pirates in the next couple of months.

The Immediate Agenda

  • Hire more lawyers, to lay SLAPP suits on any opposition MPs that criticize his reign, to research new ways to avoid having Parliament actually like......SIT!

  • Work on fanning the flames of separatists in the West and Quebec, because if everybody is distracted by fighting each other, they won't notice St. Stephen sitting in the catbird seat! It is irrelevant if various parts of Canada break apart, as long a King Steve gets to be Head Cheese of the part of his choice - or eventually governor of the 51st state of Alberta.

  • Consult with the other parties tell the other parties how you will solve the problems of Canada that they may as well look for a new line of work because in January St. Stephen will be declaring Parliament redundant and a waste of taxpayer money in the new Monarchy of St. Stephen.

  • List the Parliament Buildings with a realtor make a deal with some PsuedoCon supporters who have a better use for the buildings as a Mall, Wax Museum or residence for Brian Mulroney.

  • Encourage the corporate cohorts to book all available convention space in Canada, so that once the Parliament Buildings aren't public property anymore, there will be nowhere large enough to hold a meeting of the whole elected Parliament - Just a small banquet room large enough for the 1/3 who belong to the PsuedoCon caucus. Actually, if they decide to just include the PsuedoCons with functioning brains, a broom closet will do.

  • Perhaps most importantly, remove all books, videos and other media that explain the Parliamentary model of government, just in case the people, many of whom are obviously clueless now, start getting any fancy ideas not gleaned from the United States of Yokel Land or TeeVee.

Then again, some saner minds have suggested that perhaps Michalle Jean didn't cave in to Mr. Intimidation Harper quite the way it appears. Perhaps (without necessarily pointing this out to St. Stephen, or making it a condition) she basically said, okay Steverino, go home, enjoy Christmas as Prime Minister.

But - when he comes back in January, if he still cannot demonstrate he has the confidence of Parliament, she will not sign off on dissolution and another election, but give the (even more organized by late January) opposition, who do actually represent TWO THIRDS of the voters, a chance to demonstrate how difficult it would be to govern worse than Steve and his band of bumbling evil clowns. And Steverino can go home and enjoy Springtime near the Rockies, and not be missed by many Canadians - and have the added bonus of being surrounded by his redneck yokel friends and neighbors of North Texas. Meanwhile Jack, Gilles and Stephane can get on with tending to the problems of all Canadians, not just those who share Steverino's ideology.


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