One of the crime scenes

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

The Evul Coalition
Wins Big (kinda)



President King Emperor Prime Minister Harper of Canuckistan


Well an evul coalition won a majority government, but it wasn't the one that Stevie Spiteful spent weeks using to frighten Canadians . Instead it was the coalition of western separatists, Reform, Alliance, CRAP and former Progressive Conservatives who either weren't very progressive or could hold their nose and run under the Canadian Taliban banner to get a sniff of power and privilege.

It's been an interesting week or so. Donald Trump told the world how proud he was of being an idiot and then was the focus of much of the mockery at the annual White House Press Get Together Roast. John Stewart of the Daily Show thought Obama broke into Celebrity Apprentice, just to piss off the Combover King and lay on some insults that had come to him since the roast - but no, it was about Osama been Missing. Barrack Hussein Obama joined a team of SEALs and shot Osama bin Laden in the Eye. And oh yeah, Spiteful Stevie Harper attained his long dreamed of majority government, while hardly increasing his vote totals, but using the Rovian style politics of division and wedge issues tailored to specific ridings with a mastery Atwater or KKKarl Rove would admire. Quebec has apparently decided to be part of Canada while Ontario has decided to be a northern version of Wisconsin or New Jersey with a Governor Christie clone as mayor of Toronto and over seventy MPs from the Reform/Alliance/Crap/PsuedoConservative coalition of fundamentalists and western separatists. From the left coast Ontario looks like a malignant tumor right in the middle of a center/left Canada within which the new king was coronated by perhaps twenty percent of the eligible voters.

The old natural governing party of Canada that has been either the government or the official loyal opposition since Confederation has been reduced to a fringe party that is only slightly less relevant in most of the country than the other party taken out of its misery last night, the Bloc Quebecois. Jack Layton will be changing the drapes in Stornaway to Orange Crushed Velvet and Christy Clark our pretend Premier is already trying to use Harper's fearmongering tactics by never saying the letters NDP without prefacing them with QUEBEC. Even the know it all pundits will take awhile to figure out just what happened. Nobody called it right, beyond the likelihood of another Harper (not Canadian) government be it with a minority or a majority.

So now the years of constant electioneering and suspense will (or should) come to an end until we start approaching 2015, though it is hard to believe that Mr. Spiteful All Politics All the Time will take a break from trying to frame anyone that threatens his hold on power as either a sexual deviant, illegal immigrant or worse. Meanwhile we criminal types who don't like Mr. Steve can look forward to posh new accomadations if he just has to lock us up for our own and society's good. Dope smokers will have to learn how to smuggle pot into the new high security gaols, or grow it inside and felons of all stripes will be locked up for life, unless they happen to work in the PMO.

Do we need to try and outdo the US in building and filling prisons? Who cares, Stevie thinks so, after all, there is all that unreported crime and I'm pretty confident the people committing these crimes will do the right thing and turn themselves in.

Do we really need single engine ATTACK fighter jets, completely unsuited to patrolling Canada's north and slower than the current F-18s but excellent for joining in the next Shock and Awe Campaign and I'm pretty confident that the Empire to the south won't be able to even imagine an invasion of anywhere on earth that Captain Chicken Hawk Harper won't be drooling at the mouth to be a part of. Heck Stevie prolly wished he coulda helped Barry get Osama, but he was busy getting his coronation arranged and hadn't voted in the early polls.

Welcome to the new age of American style politics north of the 49th. The Liberals are on their death bed because there is NO middle left in Canada. At least here we have a clearly defined right wing conservative party and a left leaning progressive party, in America it is polarised between the really hard whacko right and the just sorta but corporate butt kissing right represented by the Democratic Party.

Now the almost two thirds of Canadians who aren't into Stevie's old testament view of the world and slavish obeisance to the corporate agenda will have at least four years to re-organize in hopes of forming a government in 2015, if there is anything left of Canada to govern after four years of totally unchecked Harper. This man who spent a number of years with the NCC, an organization created for the EXPRESS purpose of subverting Canada's public healthcare system will get to re-negotiate the Canada Health Act with the provinces, Dr. Day must be thrilled. Three or four Supreme Court Justices will need to be appointed, maybe the Charter can be thrown on the same trash heap with the Geneva Coventions. He can stack the Senate, ooops, he's already done that.

When will we not have to pre-sign a search warrant if we want to own a 30-30? Insite is doomed! Will we be required to join a church, as long as it isn't a mosque and will Israel become an honourary province? Will the Tar Sands operations become bigger than New England with twice the subsidies?

NewsFlash!

I just heard James Moore, the only heavyweight Reformatory left standing in BC claim that they support the CBC and not only don't plan to not kill it off, but increase its support. Really?

There was some Good News!

The NDP under Jack Layton won over one hundred seats and will be the official opposittion. Though as some wag already said, all that means is Jack gets to ask the first question in Question Period, but of course Stevie or pit bull Baird don't have to answer it.

Elizabeth May guaranteed that she will be allowed participate in the next debate, assuming the stable Harper Government deigns to even participate in such an affair by then. I've been of mixed feelings over her entry into that riding, fearing she would allow Gary less than nothing Lunn to return to Ottawa with his cabinet post in charge of Zambonis or something. However she knocked off Lunn and congrats to her for that. Actually, people who get to live in Saanich or the Gulf Islands are so lucky they probably don't care that much about politics anyway, unless it involves the Islands Trust, the body that actually governs the Gulf Islands.

Great things happened for Canada when last the CCF/NDP and the Liberals were able to work together. Things like Healthcare, the Canada Pension Plan, the Canadian Flag and we had a P.M in Lester Pearson who won a peace prize for dealing with the Suez Crisis instead of a P.M. who is looked at with scorn by most of the non-corporate world and is considered the guy that holds the bully's (the US) coat while the bully runs the world and kills whoever is in the way. I almost forgot, Harper does win international prizes, as dinosaur of the year at conferences attempting to deal with environmental issues. Of course to folks that are giddy today, like Al TsuckmyAss, that is a good thing, because the only thing wrong is we aren't polluting enough and climate change is a myth created to make Al Gore rich.

So with the Bloc hopefully out of the picture, those who have a different vision for Canada than Stevie and his Taliban had better use the next four years to figure out how to play together, or else the Republican Conservative Party of Harper's Canada will become the natural ruling party for longer than I'll be alive.

So welcome to Harperland, we'll all be living there for awhile, unless of course you prefer the highway.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Canada will become, the U.S.A's largest state ever.

As for Layton, he capitulated to Harper's demand to give, the wealthiest corporations in the world, ANOTHER tax reduction. This will come off Canadians paychecks. Layton will do as Harper dictates.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011 at 6:15:00 PM PDT  

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