One of the crime scenes

Monday, April 07, 2008

Humour Me,


What with Spring, threatening to be sprung and what seemed like a new scandal per day last week, the poor old BC Rail Trial got shoved aside, clear off of page 17 of the third Metro section, the last while has been kind of a case of the BC Rail Trial goes to Maui on holidays, and doesn't even get arrested.

I'm not sure how many potential "Special Prosecutors" there may be in the province, but perhaps some one should start trying to work in harmony with Immigration to bring in lawyers with "Special Prosecutor" training, what ever that may be. The five year old alleged theft of a railroad pales before the ever growing not less, John Les real estate tricks and then the ever expanding IckyBycky "Chop-Shop" without "colours" distraction of ICBC run amok. These investigations are covered over at BC Mary's as well as a brief discussion about the importance or lack of importance of the Bobby Virk defense team appearance last week in BC Appeal Court.

For the last couple of weeks a reader has sent me an entertaining and relevant collection of quotes, assembled, I believe, by some members of the NDP. The Liberals don't have to have any sense of humour, the stuff they say in all seriousness is funny enough - and then if one thinks too long about their policies, it becomes more of an occasion for tears. So without further ado, I will present:

Giggles and Guffaws from Gail

On salmon farming and its impact on the wild stocks

In 2005, Premier Gordon Campbell included four B.C. Liberal MLAs on the Special Committee on Sustainable Aquaculture. The vice-chair of the committee was Nanaimo-Parksville MLA Ron Cantelon. It seems he didn't learn much about fishing or salmon during his time on the committee. His solution to save wild stocks isn't to protect their habitat, but this:

"Stop hunting them commercially for food. They are the last wild animal we hunt commercially for food."

- Nanaimo-Parksville Liberal MLA Ron Cantelon (in the Parksville-Qualicum Beach News), April 1, 2008

Breaking John Les' record for fastest flip-flop

"Not only did Ron Cantelon mull over the idea of stopping the fishery in favour of keeping fish farms open, he also said a moratorium on fish farms off B.C.'s north coast is likely the only aquaculture policy change we'll see from the provincial government. Does Cantelon stand by those statements today? Depends on what time of day you ask him... When we first asked him about it, Cantelon denied making the statements... But an hour later, a complete reversal... he says he has no regrets, now stands by his statements... It's perhaps not the kind of publicity the Campbell government is looking for as it gets ready to release that long-awaited aquaculture report."

- Shachi Kurl (A-Channel News), April 3, 2008

The voice of reason, part 1

"Ron Cantelon's review of sea lice science in your paper ... is so flawed I can only marvel at the ability of this man to serve the public."

- Alexandra Morton (letter to the Parksville-Qualicum Beach News), April 4, 2008

The voice of reason, part 2

"I just find it astonishing, actually, that somebody who's apparently on this committee for coastal aquaculture would know so little about the resource."

- Dave Boyes, commercial fisherman (A-Channel News), April 3, 2008

And by the way, this is what the Liberals promised

"To lead the world in sustainable environmental management, with the best air and water quality, and the best fisheries management, bar none."

- 2005 BC Speech from the Throne

On the scandal-plagued Campbell government

The Solicitor General resigns...

"But after dealing with the Dobell affair, and with the BC Rail corruption scandal still hanging over their heads, this (the John Les resignation) is not good news for the Liberals."

- Paul Willcocks (Times Colonist), March 31, 2008

... which just might be a good thing ...
"The resignation of John Les from the B.C. solicitor-general's post isn't much of a loss. He was a weak solicitor-general in some respects -- his response to the death of Robert Dziekanski was indecisive, his views on regional policing antiquated, and his role in the scapegoat firing of B.C. Lotteries Corporation president Vic Poleschuk hardly stellar."

- Editorial (Kamloops Daily News), April 4, 2008

... and doesn't follow the example his boss set

"The resignation of John Les from his position as solicitor general and minister of public safety raises some interesting questions.
"First and foremost is why Premier Gordon Campbell would accept his resignation when he set a precedent against doing so.
"Campbell, it will be remembered, was arrested for drunk driving in Hawaii in January 2003. Several months later he pleaded 'no contest' (guilty in the Canadian justice system) and was fined $913 US.
"The premier broke the law, albeit in a different jurisdiction, and though it was downplayed by his colleagues as a terrible mistake, it remains an offence of some seriousness."

- Editorial (Nanaimo Daily News), March 31, 2008

In wacky B.C., hedges trim you!

"Only in wacky British Columbia can the province's top cop be happily trimming his hedges one minute and then find out his own boys in blue are breathing down his neck the next."

- Mike Smyth (the Province), March 30, 2008

ICBC customers are the ones horrified

"ICBC's research facility reeks of scandal, and it's going to be [van Dongen's] baby for the next while... It will likely be known as ICBC's Little Shop of Horrors when the investigations have run their course."

- Les Leyne (Times Colonist), April 2, 2008

Advanced Education Minister lacking primary arithmetic skills

"Advanced Education Minister Murray Coell's comments about funding for post secondary education just don't add up."

- Editorial (Prince George Free Press), April 4, 2008

The Ag plan is just warmed-over mystery meat

"Val Roddick, Legislative Secretary of Agricultural Planning, is fond of proclaiming 'We all have to eat to live.' Well, if agriculture was looking for a big nutritious meal in the new B.C. Agriculture Plan, it will be disappointed. The meal looks good on the plate - it's attractively presented, nicely sugar-coated ... But when you really bite into it, the meat and potatoes are missing and a lot of what's there is reheated leftovers!"

- Editorial (Country Life in B.C.), March, 2008

Forest workers should just eat cake

"In the past year alone, 10,000 forest jobs were lost. Rarely a week goes by without news of another closed mill. And many families are packing it in for better opportunities east of the border.
"The Campbell government's response to this suffering would make Marie Antoinette cringe."

- Carole James (Vancouver Sun), April 3, 2008

That last quote really gets my goat! I mean doesn't Carole James realize that them poor old Forest Companies don't have time for mundane activities like logging or manufacturing wood products? For these highly skilled and altruistic CEOs and their friends in government, the business of recreational real-estate development takes precedence over manufacturing lumber, particle board or toilet-paper. These new waterfront recreational properties will be so COOL, that the holidayers won't even need to USE toilet-paper, much less worry about who makes it and/or where!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can someone answer why Gordo continues to travel to Hawaii after his DUI conviction when US border people are turning folks back for the most inane reasons? Power has its perks eh what?

Monday, April 7, 2008 at 7:29:00 PM PDT  
Blogger kootcoot said...

Dear Anon-0-Mouse @ 7:29, to elaborate upon the point you raised above:

A leading cause of being turned back at the US Border is having been charged/convicted of a drug offense as minor as 1 joint (marijuana cigarette) thirty or forty years ago.
Or more exotic is the case of the UBC professor who ingested a psychodelic even more years ago (when same wasn't illegal in either jurisdiction) for the purpose of "research."

The logic of this attitude is simply stunning. Here we have Drunken Gordo - forgiven for getting behind the wheel essentially during a drunken blackout and putting hundreds of lives and much property at risk! Meanwhile Marc Emery is being persecuted by both the US government and what passes for government in Ottawa, these days, for selling seeds for an essentially beneficial herb.

Death Toll from Marijuana Usage = 0

Death Toll from Drunk Diving = Thousands and counting, daily!

Benefits of Medical Marijuana = thousands of extended life spans and improvements in the quality of those lives (say an HIV+ patient who cannot EAT, without the help of medical marijuana.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 8:30:00 AM PDT  
Blogger G West said...

nice column koot, as can now update with the latest kerfuffle between Cantelon and Mme Justice Turpel-Lafond...he's now trying to interfere with the operations of an independent officer of the legislature - the children's advocate.

These guys can't stop spinning - even when it's starting to twist them into knots.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 8:33:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Gary E said...


Dear Kootcoot. I would like to first give you my sincere apology for the error committed on my new Blog. The errors have been corrected. As well, when I visited your site I noticed the "do not care" card. While I am almost positive that I received it in an e-mail, I have deferred to you. It is on your site and I won't use it either.
I posted your concerns and followed up with an apology. While I probably will make more mistakes this one will not happen again.
Sincerely, Gary E

Wednesday, April 9, 2008 at 2:15:00 PM PDT  

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